zabuzasword:

there are too many pictures of mermaids in sexy poses and not enough of them drowning and eating men. whats up with that

(Source: coopercanes, via buttleyjames)


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basedpidgeot:

given my follower count and the number of days in a year its way more than reasonable to assume that it’s one of your birthdays today

happy birthday whoever you are

(via gordonramsaysbutt)


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frlcker:

do u ever forget to sleep or eat or drink water or something and ur like “oh shit yeah I need that to live”

(Source: studip, via gordonramsaysbutt)


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bombing:

i love multitasking and i love getting permanently banned from zoos so i killed two birds with one stone

(via jokesmymomwouldlike)


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